Fast And Furious: A Review
Ah, The Fast And The Furious trilogy quadrilogy: the single biggest butt of jokes in the history of car movies. The first, The Fast And The Furious, was possibly the largest impetus to the rise of ricers; the second, 2 Fast 2 Furious, was a terrible, terrible movie with a dry, boring plot and horrifyingly gross cars; the third, The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift was an interesting spin on things and possibly the best of the bunch (although that’s not really saying much). When I heard there was a fourth one coming, and that it would restore the cast of the original movie, I was wondering if they were attempting to redeem the sorry series with a retry of the original. Despite this, I wasn’t expecting much, as it is still part of the F&F series. Well, this past weekend I went to see Fast And Furious, and it was not exactly what I expected…
My Thoughts
Alright, I’ll go right out with it: I was expecting bad, but this was absolutely horrible. I don’t even know where to start, but I guess I’ll begin with the plot. It seems as if they took the plot from the second movie, nearly exactly, and swapped out some characters, cars, and objectives. Yeah, that’s right, the second movie. The worst one. Needless to say, the acting is horrible, with stellar, over-the-top performances from Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. The minor characters were acted stereotypically and in a way so easy to guess, I had the movie figured out literally twenty minutes in.
The Fast And The Furious series is about street racing, right? Well there’s ONE main race, and it’s unrealistic and packed to the brim with CG and corny drifts. It also featured what would be the coolest navigation system ever – if it existed, and furthermore, didn’t look like something out of Star Wars.
And now, the cars. Oh, this is going to be fun. Well, it’s the second movie all over again: riced imports against old muscle that border on tasteless. I had an admittedly hard time keeping myself from cracking up at a scene I know should have been 100% serious: a certain funeral (I’m giving no spoilers) sees a group of ricers’ racers cars parked along a cemetary road, sporting their oversized wings and wheels. It was almost insulting.
Paul Walker is given the choice of any import on the city’s impound lot to use in his undercover mission, and after filtering through plenty of rice but also legitimately awesome cars such as the Honda S2000 and the new Nissan GT-R, he goes with a cool yet horrifyingly outdated (and overused in this series) Nissan Skyline GT-R R34, only to tune it exactly how he does in the second movie. Boring. Vin Diesel’s got yet more old-school muscle, both a Chevelle SS and the same Charger from the first movie. Boring again. Later in the movie, Diesel and Walker steal a riced 2008 Subaru Impreza WRX STI from the impound lot. That should really please the Subaru fans who saw this.
Ok, ok, there were some good cars as well, but let me make this point: they do NOT, in any way, redeem this movie, especially because most of them are only featured for a few seconds, tops. A black Buick Regal GNX plays a fairly integral part for the first five minutes, then disappears entirely for the rest of the movie. The best part of the movie only lasts for about five seconds, though: a white, rally-tuned Ford Escort Cosworth RS shows itself, light rack and all, at the beginning of some miscellaneous drag race. At the very end of the movie, the audience is slightly rewarded (like I said, nothing redeems the rest of the movie) with seeing Jordana Brewster driving a JDM-spec Honda NSX-R. Finally, there’s some Porsche Cayman which I guess could be considered cool. Overall though, in terms of cars, I was left far short of impressed.
Conclusion
I wanted to give Fast And Furious a chance. I really did. I heard it was the best of the series, and after Tokyo Drift, I was convinced that the people responsible for this movie had what it takes to make a good movie. Sadly, no. The fourth movie in this series is a tremendous failure, bringing back the same things that ruined the second movies. I’ll give this an Ignition Unlimited Media Rating of 3 out of 10. If you haven’t seen it yet, don’t. Wait until DVD to see it, if ever.