Ignition Unlimited

A World Of Smartphones

We’ve all heard it: Microsoft (nowadays Google and Apple, too) being referred to as the “evil empire,” or Windows Mobile being called a “dying breed.” There are some truths to these statements: if you really think about it, smartphone brands, their parent companies, the user base, the developers and the community are a lot like nations, each vying for success and dominance. So, what would each smartphone brand be like as a country (or other stately body)? Well, I thought about it for a while and what follows is what I came up with. I’ve spent time in each or with people from each community, and these are the conclusions I’ve drawn. In chronological order, I present the Five Nations of Smartphone. Enjoy!

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The Best April Fools’ Prank That Wasn’t

Ah, April Fools’ Day: Google is now Topeka, the excellent webcomic xkcd goes terminal, and my college announced that next year the campus will be dry (this was especially well-played because alcohol policy was in the process of being changed only yesterday). Among all these April 1st shenanigans, the 2010 New York International Auto Show pressed on, with its usual stock of interesting reveals (which I shall definitely be covering in the coming week). Toyota, however, decided that it would be the perfect day to launch two new video ad campaigns in order to increase attention for new models in its subsidiary brands. Oh, they got my attention alright…

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A Failure, Undercover

Yeah, yeah, I know this game came out in November of 2008, and that it’s almost a whole year later, AND that Need For Speed: Shift is coming out in slightly over a month, but I still feel the need to give a commentary on this game. Until I saw the light of games like DiRT, Test Drive Unlimited, and Forza Motorsport 2, I was a big Need For Speed fan.

Need For Speed: Most Wanted was (and still is) one of the greatest “arcadey” racing games ever made (those police chases almost become zombie-horror-survival-esque with their one-versus-infinite feel), so it was natural for EA: Blackbox to try to replicate that feel after two games that didn’t do so well (Carbon and ProStreet). Did they succeed? Read on to find out.

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Fast And Furious: A Review

Ah, The Fast And The Furious trilogy quadrilogy: the single biggest butt of jokes in the history of car movies. The first, The Fast And The Furious, was possibly the largest impetus to the rise of ricers; the second, 2 Fast 2 Furious, was a terrible, terrible movie with a dry, boring plot and horrifyingly gross cars; the third, The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift was an interesting spin on things and possibly the best of the bunch (although that’s not really saying much). When I heard there was a fourth one coming, and that it would restore the cast of the original movie, I was wondering if they were attempting to redeem the sorry series with a retry of the original. Despite this, I wasn’t expecting much, as it is still part of the F&F series. Well, this past weekend I went to see Fast And Furious, and it was not exactly what I expected…

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Sunday Roast: Lexus IS-F

Let me start off by saying what this is: every Sunday, some car is going to get a bashing. Every car enthusiast has cars they really, really dislike, and this is how I’m going to go about explaining mine: in these weekly posts. So, to start things off, we have the Lexus IS-F.

The high-end compact sport sedan class is highly contested: we’ve got the refined Audi RS4, the crazy Mercedes-Benz C63 AMG, and the take-no-prisoners BMW M3 Sedan. Now there’s a new guy, and not from Germany: this Lexus IS-F. Yeah, it’s fast, but I’d rather drive the lowest base version of any of the competitors before I’d be caught driving the IS-F (think C300 or A4 1.8T). Why? Read on.

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Automotive Crime: 300SL

Who would do such a thing? This is the horrifying work of A Bathing Ape (BAPE) founder Nigo, who has also destroyed created a pink Bugatti Veyron and a camouflage Rolls Royce Phantom. This time, though, he’s just taken it too far. Way too far. It’s one thing to make a mess out of a modern production car, but to destroy a rare and beautiful creation such as the Mercedes-Benz 300SL Gullwing? Simply sickening. I mean, look at that thing… a car I would die to own, ruined by the crazy tastes of some insane clothing designer. Poor SL.

Yes, I know it’s been modernized by AMG, and I think that’s pretty cool, but they were not responsible for the horrifying exterior styling. It just looks so… degraded in that cheap camouflage scheme. More pictures in the full post.

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